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Archive for May, 2008

When Lisa Dreamt of Bees

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Lisa Snellings has her Bug Out sale up over HERE. Here is a link to her Blog about it…

It’s kind of exciting for me, as I just sent her all of the Bee Bits that she used. Like a couple of days ago. Earlier this year Sharon the Birdchick sent her hundreds of dead workers, who died, despite our loving attendance on them. (I also had to once send Lisa dead flies, which was NOT so fun.) Sharon and I have learned SO much about ourselves, and if it’s not too corny, the world, and life and magic, tending these bees. It’s like art in itself. And now Lisa has taken them, and made them into another bit of magic art. Full circle.

I was really tempted to go and bid this one, but then I thought “HEY! You would be buying your own honey, Dorkus!”

But you should. This is the only honey from our first year of Beekeeping that is going up for auction anywhere, and a portion of the proceeds are going to the CBLDF. And it is REALLY good honey, if I do say so myself. Straight from the Kitty Hive. And the first piece has the ACTUAL dead Queen Kitty the 2nd that I tended so faithfully, but in vain, she arrived too early, and that, as we all know, can be fatal.

The thing I like best about Lisa’s work, is, like all great artists, (Or writers, or musicians) how she keeps evolving and changing. I love seeing what’s in her mind. I love the things she dreams about. And like all great artists, writers and musicians when she dreams, she can take you there. And dreaming in her world is good.

And when Lisa dreams of Bees, it is beautiful.

For those of you wondering about Sundays Gig, nip over to Paul and Lorraine, I am just updating the info…

Love and Lisa and Bees,
Lorraine

How to REALLY Embaress Yourself…

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

The true Adventure of yesterday did not make itself known until this morning, when I tried to get out of bed and all I could feel was evil, stabbing, screaming pain in my knee!!!

I’ll go back a bit. I didn’t mention it yesterday, because, I didn’t think it was either interesting or important, but while walking my Cat, I managed, gracefully, to fall down the steep hill in my front yard. Twisting my knee most horridly. At the time, I thought “MAN! That sure hurt!!!” and thought the same thru the evening, but since it was me, the laptop and Law and Order SUV on the couch, there wasn’t much pain going on, except when I moved, and I thought, “well twisted your knee walking your cat, silly girl, it will be better in the morning”

Or not.

By the time I got to work, I was crying it hurt so badly.

Merry Housekeeper and I looked at it. She said she thought it was swollen, and I said “NO! I am just FAT!” And she said, “Well, only in the one knee then”

She had a point.

This being a small town, I was able to call my doctor, Dr Dan, and nip (as it were) right on in. (for me to go to the doctor, it has to be BAD.) It seems I tore something, tho the swelling has go down before we will know the extent. It could be just a muscle. Or ligaments. Or cartilage.

They suggested crutches, Advil, and heat.

I suggested a bed in the ICU with morphine drip. We compromised with Advil with codeine, and it still hurts just as much, but now I don’t care.

Altho it is extremely embarrassing, there is some humour in being wheeled around the hospital and having people say “LORRAINE! How did you do this???” (small town, remember?) and replying “I fell down a hill while walking my Cat”

No one was able to keep a straight face.

Myself included.

Love and Pain,
Lorraine

Adventures? You decide…..

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

I had a think today about what in the world I could write about tonight that could possibly equal yesterday’s adventure, and was not at all sure I could come up with anything. I mean, yesterday was truly an adventure of some magnitude.

But then, isn’t every day?

Let’s try a few things….

Woke up. Tea. Not much there.

Merry Housekeeper came over to help me paint my porch (ok, to be truthful, it ought to read paint my porch with absolutely no help from his painting challenged girl) and I discovered that not only had she done that, but also the railings of the deck outside, based on the fact that I told her a year ago I wanted it white, and had never got around to telling her I changed my mind.

Cool thing tho, I was right the first time, it looks great! (which had I had the painting of it, it would not have.) Interesting, but not an adventure.

Did some assistanting. Goes like this: No, no, no he can’t, well maybe, Is it on a tropical island and do I get to go, no, soon promise, and NO!

Hardly worth a blog.

Planted some plants. If they grow, we shall no doubt later rejoice. If not, we can mourn together.

Music? Well, Paul and I are excited about this live cd thing, and have decided to learn some new songs, which we will share with each other for the first time as we record Live on Stage. This will be blog worthy in a couple of weeks, I have no doubt.

Took Dog for a couple of walks. Did NOT go near the evil bees. I had to Fed-ex Boss his Tux for BEA. One sends it in a suitcase, oddly enough, as that is what they are meant for. When I brought it down, poor Cabal began to whimper, and would NOT leave my side. To him, it means Someone is going away. I cheered him up riding my bike around, throwing toys, and some agility things. Wonderful fun, but I am certainly not going to take up your valuable time writing an entire paragraph which could be entitled “What I did With the Dog Today” I mean, really…

Read another couple of chapters of Sense and Sensibility. Love the prose, but good Gods, don’t these people ever DO anything???

The Cat Wheel has arrived and Mim is the Cat Wheel Demon. She has learned when she runs too fast and spins around to the top, to jump off, rather than go crashing down, as she did at first. When I get video, THIS will be fun.

Aha. I have it. Adventure City.

I had heard that Bengals will walk on leashes. Seeing as how I have nothing going on right now, and so very much spare time, I thought, why not get a couple diamond studded collers and harnesses, and take the little fiends for a walk!

(File under “Seemed like a Good Idea at the time”)

Actually, it wasn’t so bad, Madame Mim had a blast, running all over, chasing nothing, and exploring everything. I enlisted the help of my ever patient neighbours, and Makela took Mim and I had the, “well it MIGHT be cool, but I am not committing myself” Venus.

For a small town we drew some really nice crowds. I may yet get famous. If only as The Crazy Lady who Takes Her Cats For Walks. And my camera battery charger will be here tomorrow! Pictures to come!!!! Promise! (I learned tonight you cannot take a photo of your cat on the cat wheel with your laptop. Nope.)

I think we will do this nightly. It is good to have a social life.

And adventures.

Love and Leashes,
Lorraine

The Day The Hives Hated Us!

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

The new Queen Olga came today. And she needed to get installed in her new hive, in her Queen Carrier, so the old Bees could get her scent and eat out the sugar and welcome her into her new home. So began a rather harrowing three hours.

We didn’t know if the old Queen was dead, or gone or simply stopped laying eggs. If she was still alive, we would have to find her, and kill her.

At the beginning of this process, we were very sad about this. Not at all sure we could do it. By the end of the day tho, I was saying things like “If I find her, I will crush that no good non egg laying skanky Queen in my bare hands.”

Sharon will do the full report over at her Blog, so you can get the details there. First, we had to go to the Mimko hive, which was doing very well, and take a frame of Brood, to give the Olga hive some new baby bees, until the new Queen could hatch her own.

Mimko hated this, as the hive thought, quite correctly, that we were stealing their brood, and they moved into Protect mode. For the first time since the first panicked day, I did not enjoy the Bee thing.

Little did we know…(Cue Music..)

At the Olga Hive, we had to take it apart and go thru 30 frames, all covered in bees on both sides. (it is worth noting that Eddi Izzard is playing here tonight. We could sure tell HIM something about being Covered in Bees!) and see if we could find the old Queen, with her big Queen Butt.

Olga bees have always been a little aggressive, but let me tell you, they HATED this. Sometimes, a bee or two will Bonk you, which is when they fly into you at full speed, like a tap on the shoulder to let you know “HEY! STUPID! This is like, a BEE HIVE! Beat It!” You smoke them with your mighty smoker and they back off.

Most times.

Sometimes a bee will sting you on your gloves. This releases something that tells the other bees “Trouble, my Comrades, come sting with me and die protecting the hive”

It is truly a somewhat stressful feeling, I can now tell you, to look down and see yourself covered in bees, all stinging you. And feel the constant Bonking at your head, like hail.

Remember, they can’t get IN the bee suit. Nope. No way. This is what will keep you sane. Can’t get in. Would NEVER happen…..(more music, scarier now…)

Unless, of course, you discover, looking down at your chest, which is covered in bees, you have forgotten to zip up your bee suit around the neck. (something I promise, you will never do twice.

I said something, calmly I am sure like SHARON MY SUIT IS UNZIPPED!!!!!!!!!! And she answered, just as calmly WALK AWAY WALK AWAY I WILL SMOKE YOU I WILL SMOKE YOU!!!!!!!

Fortunately the bees had not yet discovered this fact, and no one was IN the suit yet. But you can up the stress level a few notches. We began using the phrase,”I need a Bee Moment” which meant one of us was in danger of freaking, and we would walk away, get most of the bees off, and breathe, before going back in.

Mostly, Cabal is smart enough not to get close, and the bees have always left him alone. Until today. He started to get stung, and began snapping at the bees flying around him, and batting at them (he totally flailed) He also had bees stuck in his fur.

I got him bee free and calmer, and told him to stay away. (short version) but he was convinced I was going into danger and he needed to save me by moving in and attacking the bees. (up stress level) I convinced him that he had best stay in the car for the rest of the time. Here he is getting his revenge on the Bee Toy I bought him.

We finally got everything wrapped up, again, refer to Sharon for the full report. We went back to the car, feeling like we had been in a war, leaving our bee suits on, in case the ever aggressive Olga bees were still lingering.

As it turned out one was. IN Sharon’s Bee Suit.

She started yelling BEE MOMENT BEE MOMENT and leapt from the moving car. I stopped the car and leapt for her. I pulled the zipper of the suit down, and saw the bee, and tried to grab for it, but Sharon did the fight or flight maneuver, and started running away across the field, I grabbed her suit from the back and pulled it from her, followed by her shirt.

There we were, in the dandelion covered field, full of bees. The stuff of high comedy.

When we got back in the car, darned if, oh yes, there was a bee flying around between us. Cut to screaming, batting, flailing….

Here is my final word on Bees today…

Love and Not so much Bees,
Lorraine

Balticon Fever

Saturday, May 24th, 2008

As I sit here in LA, our own Ms. Kitty is selling Neverwear goods at BALTICON!! We were there last year and had a blast.

Check my blog for more details. I wanted to post the pics of Lorraine and I here! I miss you guys! There will be one honorary drag queen missing. Ahhhhhhhhhh the PAINNNNNNNNN! See! I am so lonely I am talking to myself…
Wait, is that Drag or DRAMA Queen, Madame Malena Mim?

Well, they did give me the title,

“The Gothic Statue of Liberty” so I think a BIG BLOG is in order!

WE LOVE YOU BALTICON!

the MMMMmmmm in LaM

now the La La La will speak! SPEECH Logistics Lorraine!

Music is a Good Thing….

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Ok, this is an Officially Long Day.

I was going to come straight home from the gig, and sleep, which is clearly what’s needed, but now I seem to be wide awake, on some sort of strange second (read: SIXth) wind, and the Bengals being un-interested in anything but food, and tearing around crazily, I will chat with you for a bit…

Great gig. Much too fun. It is strange playing with someone you don’t gig with regularly, you know a lot of the same things, only completely differently. Makes for some fun. In this town, the Irish bands tend to be pretty incestuous. Mostly duos, as the gigs pay by the band, not person, so when your bandmate can’t make it, you call someone else, and do the show.

Malena and I chatted most of my drive in about the possibility of doing a show, and how we could make it work, as we love, so much more than anything, to play together, and kicked around a lot of ideas about how this could happen. In this town you really can pull things together fast,and we really want to make it happen, Fingers crossed, we will make it work.

I love getting a chance to play with Johny, he has such a spooky way of turning things around that brings so many things out of me, which tonight was enhanced by the fact that The Spotlight was burned out, and the Pub turned the lights down and we got to play nearly by candlelight. (I hate the spotlight, tho I can see the reason for it, think deer in headlights)

It was kind of a different crowd and I couldn’t figure them out. And started to get really nervous, thinking, I don’t know these songs and I don’t know what to do, when it occurred to me all one could do was to have some fun and play what made us happy.

Which turned out to be everything BUT any Trad Irish. Van Morrisson, Richard Thompson, U2, Ernie Ford, Johnny Cash , White Stripes, Waterboys, Jimmy Buffet, Pouges…..And I wrote a new tune too….Came to me while playing an old one and Johnny was right there. I sort of added it on as it made me happy.

There is not much better than good music.

I wish you had been there. All of you.

Love and music,
Lorraine

Too Tired To Think of a Title

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

I am liking this fitness thing. I am so tired there is no possibility of getting to the kitchen to find anything bad to eat, and the phone is in my purse, also in the kitchen so I can’t call for anything. Of course, my beds are upstaires, and I don’t think I can make it that far either, but if I do, I sure won’t be coming back down.

It feels good.

Eat less. Move more. So simple.

I was thinking today, we had the cat Zoe who went to someone for a bit and came back looking like a Hummer. I put her on a diet, measured out her special food, and now, six months later, she has lost three pounds, a quarter of her body weight. That’s like a 200 pound women losing 50 pounds.

I am trying to figure out food for the Bengals, all natural, pure food, in it’s most basic state. And I spent over $400 on a Cat Wheel, so they could get some excersize.

The Dog gets his food weighed out, 2 pounds of raw meat a day, and he has a trainer, and a dog walker who comes for an hour, twice a day.

I’m like the fitness consultant for all these Beasties.

Do I love myself less? It’s something to think about, isn’t it?

Tonight Cabel and I started his Agility Classes. (otherwise known as Boot Camp for Owners) The dogs have to complete a course, full of jumps, tunnels, things they climb ect. WITH the owners running along besdie them. The faster the better.

This can’t be bad for me, tho when I realized, after dropping the dog off at his place, that I still needed to bike to mine, I had a small sinking feeling.

Made it up one of the Evil Hills tho.

Feels good.

Love and movement,
Lorraine

That Which Does Not Kill Us…

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

I got the idea that it would be a Good Thing to start riding my bike to and from work. It’s not far, yes, there are some hills, but they go both up and down, if you see what I mean, so you get both, each way. I thought it might be a great way to get in some workout, and start getting in shape after a winter of the Couch, TV and too tired to cook just ordering pizzas.

I rode it home tongight.

Heh.

Apparently, one loses being in shape quickly. I couldn’t even make it up two of the hills, and it took rather longer than it should have.

Tomorrow will be quicker. And I will make it up those hills. Soon.

On a happier note, I got to have a lovely chat with Lisa Snellings, which always makes me happy. She is having a Sale soon, called BUG OUT and mentioned the CBLDF and asked could I send her a pot of honey, some bees wax, a bit of comb and the dead Queen in a tiny coffin.

Lisa Snellings is an Evil Genius.

This ought to be fun. Watch her website.

I am a Puddle of Goo. I am going to take Ms AUsten into the Foster Room and read to JL1 and 2. They seem to like it. Tho again, hard to tell.

Love and Workouts,
Lorraine

A Day of Wonder and Marvel

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008

It was truly a day of wonder and marvel, here in the Wild Kingdom.

First of all, Cabel the Dog PASSED his Canine Good Citizenship Test!!! This came as a complete surprise to, well, everyone who knows him. He is a great dog, but does sometimes lack Good Citizenship skills. We hedged a bit, his trainer and I. One is not meant to use the head harness Gentle Leader thing, for reasons my trainer does not get. They are meant to do it all on coller and leash. Cabal is simply not controllable tho that way, so we used the Gentle Leader. He is taking the class again, with hopes that we can work up to just a coller.

Besides, it is kind of fun. People, dogs, walking around. (Top that for excitement LA folks!)

And JL2 let me pet her while she ate! And seemed to enjoy it. Or she was really hungry. Hard to tell.

Venus only drew blood once, and I kind of asked for it, playing Fingers Coming Out From Under The Blanket. Must re-Softpaw.

The peas got planted, tho, sadly not by Transcribing Girl.

And I read my first Jane Austen Chapter. (Getting away from the transcribing for ten minutes.) Wonderfully delightful! Why I have been scared off from her for so long I do not know…It’s beautiful. I’m starting with Sense and Sensibility. Reading her bios I discovered that it was published on 1811, NOT the early 1900’s, which was what I had thought. She was born a full 100 years earlier than I had believed.

This, for some reason, makes a huge difference..

Still a full moon.

And a day of wonder and marvel.

Love and Moons,
Lorraine

The Queen Lives! Long Live the Queen!

Monday, May 19th, 2008

The new Queen Kitty has left her Queen Container and is now ensconced in her hive, where it is hope she will prosper. The odds are good. The workers have her scent, the only problem was that they could not get to her, and gave up trying.

We got information this morning, as a result of my Bee Report for the Birdchick, thank you very much, that we needed to go and Get Her Out.

Here is a picture of her release from imprisonment….

She is, actually, the most beautiful of all the Queens I have seen, (much like her namesake) Mostly they have been dark, but this one is all golden, like honey or sunshine. She came out straight away, and went right down into the hive. We took a frame from the box, and added another brood box up top. It is hoped she will start making babies immediately.

Speaking of babies, we watched the funniest thing while at the hive. Sorry guys, but the boy bees (drones) are not exactly brilliant. We found one buzzing around, presumably looking for a Queen to mate with, you can tell the drones because they are bigger, and have HUGE eyes. (the better to look for the HUGE Queen butts…) This one would do a couple of circles, then come in for a landing on top of the hive. Only, they are truly bad landers, so it was a total crash landing every time, right on it’s back. He would then get up, shake himself off, and repeat the process….Here’s a picture….

The transcribing goes slowly. I am getting about 10 to 12 minutes an hour. The electronic store was kind enough to take the evil inferior recording device back and refund the money, tho.

I am changing the Kittie’s food over to natural food. The Fancy Feast, which I thought was a better food for them, may be the source of their tummy troubles. I started out by mixing boiled chicken in with the Fancy Feast. NOT popular. They love chicken. I don’t get it. Tonight I tried just chicken. Mim was ok with this, but Venus, oh no. She hopped up, looked at it, LOOKED at me, and said “What the HELL is this, no, no way, I won’t go near it, it is evil , so are you, you suck.”

(this is the cat who will happily share pizza, Ramon, chips or any other of my Falling Off The Healthy Eating Bandwagon mistakes)

Jungle Loves One and Two tho, who have never had anything but cheap dry food, and WAY into this development, and will now consent to eat while I am in the room. Venus and Mim come in and prowl a bit and we cuddle, so hopefully, JL1 and JL2 will get the idea that I am not evil and perhaps let me pet them soon.

Had a lovely chat with our Malena today. She has a knack for calling JUST when I get in the car to do errands. One can’t talk at work, as one is, well working. But one can chat in the car. So we went to the co-op, the post office, the electronic store and the bank together. We are both so busy these days that we have to take our adventures as we can. It is good to have a psychic best friend, who knows JUST when to call.

Enjoy the Full Moon tonight, my dears….

Love and Everything,
Lorraine