Or not.

I mean, that WAS a week ago. And there are, blessedly, 51 weeks left until I have to do it again. It’s not something we want to dwell on, it’s not pretty and the best thing about it is that it is over, and I am taking the check to the bank.

Here is a picture that pretty much Sums up St Pats Day, and says it ALL…..(poor Paul, it only LOOKS like he is in his Happy Place)

That being said, it was fun, the people were lovely, we made both the weekly What’s Cool to do paper, and the main Stillwater paper, on the cover. Paul was (and is still) very sick with the Evil Virus of Doom. Had to cancel tonight as his voice is GONE. (also it might have been a problem because there is a WINTER STORM going on, more on that later…)but we made a lot of people happy, and we made it thru, and made some friends along the way.

Miss Kitty is out here, which is always wonderful fun, and SHE is loving this Winter Storm, that came from no where, and promises to create sheer havoc with driving. She says she CAME for winter. Malena is sad because SHE is not here, and is missing WINTER (not to mention US) too.

LA folks are weird. (shakes head sadly) I would SO be there right now. I always thought the phrase “The air was perfumed with the Night Blooming Jasmine” a kind of overdone silly sentence until last week, when Malena took me on a hike around her neighborhood.

Here’s what we look like right now. Night Blooming Jasmine being in short supply….

Thank goodness Kitty is here, my picture taking skills are also in short supply.

Here some Mim Cuteness, as we never have enough of that going on…..Can you believe how HUGE she is getting????

Here’s me pouring tea for Miss Kitty in my Drawing Room. Ok, so it’s not tea, it’s Gatorade, we were too tired to make tea. And it’s not my drawing room, can’t draw either, have not that skill, but my Sun Room, but there is no reason not to break out the tea pot and be elegant even if one IS drinking BLUE sports drink. I say anyway.

The cool teapot, as I can hear you asking , is from Artifacts, who are, besides being my Sister, a really cool pottery/costume site. Want skulls? Pirates? Flags? Custom dishes or pottery? THAT is the place to GO. Trust me. She and her husband, will make ANYTHING you can imagine. I am getting a Culligan Water Dispenser with Bats and Skulls on it soon. Pictures to come.

I am now taking Miss Kitty out into the Winter, to a Small Store that is closing today and selling everything off , and a small stop at the antiques store, then onto my Spooky House to feed the Beasties, off to the store for MEAT for a large white dog…

(…..Who loves the snow….Here’s a Kitty picture from this morning , which she went outside and took in her Bathrobe….)

And then back to work for us, cozy and warm, covered in Kitties, and myself for one, dreaming of Warm, and of Sun…

Happy Full Moon and Spring , Everyone!
Lorraine

Well. Hello there. This was MEANT to be an account of the weekend so far, and be complete with pictures and witty bits, but I hadn’t counted on having the Brain of Zombie, tho I should have seen it coming, truth be told. You can’t PLAY this much and not have Brain of Zombie. We shall see what happens….

St Pats started on Friday, full house, and these people were READY. They may still be ready. And despite flying from LA late Thursday and getting up for work early on Friday, I was feeling pretty fine too.

Until Paul called. Paul is sick. No, make that SICK. He has a “cold” that is affecting him like the potato famine affected Ireland. Did I mention his VOICE is gone???? Good thing the crowd was one who seemed to like my funny bits and fiddle tunes as much as anything. It would have been BAD to have had to play the kind of show where we had to depend on singing, like the kind of crowd who wanted to hear Whisky in the Jar, over and over…( read: foreshadowing )

Skip to 2:00 Saturday. St Paul. I had never been to St Paul on St Pats. They seem to take it much more seriously than, oh, say, ANYTHING else going. We were playing a place I had never gigged, and scheduled to play in the tent they had set up in their parking lot. Oh, how cute, thinks I, who is going to show up to hang in a little tent, in the 30 degree temps, and listen to music at 2 in the afternoon…

Well, maybe 1000 people?????? And it wasn’t one little tent, it was two huge ones hooked together. It was FULL at 2:00. And they were Not At All Sober. And I felt SO under dressed (hard to do in black velvet and rhinestones) These people work all year on their Green Outfits.

It then got fuller. And wilder. And Greener. I’ve never seen anything like it. Ever.

Fuller. Wilder. Greener. That is as much as my Brain of Zombie can bear to recall, tho I am sure the stories will come back in bits and pieces over the next few weeks.

Every so often bands of pipers would come piping thru. And every so often, someone would come to the stage and ask us to announce things like “if you are on the Killian’s Buses, numbers 2, 5 7 or 8, they will be departing in 15 minutes…” Buses were lined up around the block and kept coming. And coming.

Onto the evening gig. Yes, same day. Fuller, wilder. Greener. But very very fun. The Mighty Fitz came down with his pipes, which was just exactly perfect. And everyone concerned, with the possible exception of Paul’s voice and my fingers, had a wonderful time. (tho Paul was reduced to quoting Dr Suess, or rather, SPEAKING only in Dr Suess. A lesson in mixing 5 different cold medicins, Red Bull and Whiskey. Fortunately, it was hilarious..)

Which was just exactly perfect.

Tonight, the video with the Tim Malloys, and I am sure some sitting in will happen, no doubt, and tomorrow, all day and all night again.

Which sounds just excactly perfect too.

To be continued….(hopefully)

Love and Brain of Zombie,
Lorraine

Lorraine has had quite a trip so far. We have decided to actually work instead of shopping for the whole trip. We have so many things planned. Like a book for example, with tales of un-named creatures, unquenched passion and the power of the moon. We will be updating our site with all kinds of Fablo ideas.

Things like “BYOA”. I said,

“Dude, bring your own Alcohol? We don’t drink”

and she said,

“No! Build your own album…online”

There IS a reason I just sing and do merch. Lorraine is the marketing girl, the producer. I’m the geek with the eyelashes on camera. We make a damn good team she and I.

We’ve been going through songs for our “BYOA”. We’ll have catagories. I think they would go something like this:

Malena sings the Blues

Lorraine writes a grand violin solo

Malena sings sexy songs

Lorraine writes a really cool song about dead things

Malena sings even more sexy songs…

You can see where this is going. I have no medium ground. It’s nothing or balls to the wall for this girl. I want to sing the Jessica Rabbit song…Things like that. Our tastes are so eclectic, we thought you might want to BYOA instead of wait for us to do three separate albums. I told Fablo I would learn how to sound cheery for her Irish music, (***Note from Lorraine…My Irish music is NOT from the cheery end of the spectrum, far from it, no one in my songs gets out alive..) but sexy blues and opera was what came naturally. She is the funnier one out of the two of us.

We were working on our book and I was reading her some of my “poetry”, which is mostly forbidden letters of love and dark vengeful thoughts. She said, “Malena, you could embarrass a cape town whore.” Wow. Where does one go from there? Maybe a little less “smut novel” and more Pablo Neruda. And to think I was HOLDING BACK! Trying to keep it NC-17 people. I must say, to save my rep as an x-molly mormon, I learned all the filth from Miles…and Adam Stemple in the studio. Both of these dudes can make a drunk pirate uncomfortable with laughter.

Lorrane here….

Well, that first bit was written LATE, (early for her) last night by Malena, as I lay (trying) to sleep..”Get up,” she would say, “We have to blog”

You blog says I.

“No, we will blog, come to the couch and help me” quoth she

No, quoth I. Go write and I will finish it in the morning when we all know what YOU will be doing. And so here I am.

Yes, this has been a working visit, not going out, no events, no make-up, just writing and working on the book. My kind of Holiday. It does go a lot of places, it is very like Malena and I, and very spooky. Bloody. Strange. And Magic. It makes us happy, and when it grows up enough, we will send it out into the world. And, one hopes, it will make you happy as well.

(by the way, I said to Malena “You could make a Capetown Whore Blush with some of the things you say” not that she sounded like one…a reference to an old song..)

We have also been talking about music, and how to get more out there. Making a cd is a lot of work in terms of time and money. Time being the stumbling block, but I have been thinking of ways one could do an album a bit at a time, and have it up and available for download, along with live bits, and our current work, and even some of the cuts that didn’t make it , due to space , on the first cd, and I thought if it was availabel for download, you could just go and download what you wanted and make your own cd.

I was playing around in my mind too about a button when ordering where you could bypass the pay with credit card, and just promise to send us a buck a song.

(no, not worried about people stealing it, woe betide the poor souls who do. Kind of like Pele’s home on Kileuea, people who take ANYTHING from there regret it. And tend to send rocks and such BACK to the island rangers with offerings and please to PLEASE put it back..)

Then we could add things as we have time to record, a few at a time. And we would not have to try and make an album with ONE sound, as we have so many directions musicly, that we want to go.

So there you have it. Malena is sleeping like , well, like I was when she wrote the first half of this, and I am here with you. (Hey, 24/7 LaM , one of us is always up!)

I am going to keep trancribing her bits (lots of that in my life these dys..) and drink tea and sit in the sunshine.

Which there is lots of here.

Love, writng, music and Orange Groves,
Lorraine and Malena

The best laid plans of mice and men, I say…I had planned a lovely little blog about how I finished extracting all of the Bee Wax from the Slumglum and on taking pictures to document this event and doing a very Bee Oriented post, but, well, uh, it was one of those things that never quite happened today, so I am left with telling you that you still get to look forward to that bit of history.

I did do a really fun hour and a half long interview with a paper from Stillwater today, they are doing a feature on Paul and Lorraine, pre-St Pats, and it made me happy. I think I talked as much about Malena and all of you as I did Paul and I! Should be a good piece, I will link to it, or post it when it comes out.

And I need to shout out thanks to Spacelaw, as it seems, after TWO YEARS , Paul and I have no band photo or any good pics of us , that we could use, and I was getting kind of sad until I remembered Spacelaw had downloaded all of the pics she took while she was here to my Laptop. (yes, apparently it will talk to HER camera ) I found many great shots, and so all is well. My Thanks for saving Paul and Lorraine!

(this is very un-like Malena and I, we had a band photo, professional one at that, before we MET. Kid you not, it’s the one that we used for the cover of Mirror Mirror, we hadn’t actually met at that point, nor would we for a couple of months..)

I am off for LA in the morning. I need a little bit of time where the sun shines, and there is no snow, and it is warm (hey my furnace took a header the other night, -12 and no heat) and one can look at the ocean. And oh, yeah, time with what’s her name as well, hee-hee….The little Vampire keeps making Plans of what we are going to do all fun and going out and this and that and I keep saying, “How about we dress in the Oatmeal Sweater and sit in your courtyard…” Actually, the main focus of this visit is writing, we are working on a Thing together, and want it to grow up sooner rather than later, so I think much time will be spent on that, rather than anything else.

And I get to see Kitty, who will be in town, which always makes my heart happy. She and Malena had quite the wrestling match as to who got to pick me up at the airport, and despite all the boxing Malena has been doing , Kitty took her DOWN, and won. When that women puts her mind to something…..

(to be truthful I think it was Kitty saying “If I don’t’ go, I won’t get to see her, you guys will hole up and that will be that “)

We do get like that, I have to admit. But it will be good, the three of us again. And , Kitty, what good is a band without a tour manager, I ask you????

I need the rest for the St Pats Shows. This town doesn’t mess around and I am booked more shows than I think I can play, but somehow, one does.

You know, between work, shows and the end of winter this DOES tend to get a little crazed this time of year. I have been writing back and forth with a friend of mine who is currently the Assistant to a Director who is currently shooting a Movie that based on a Book my Boss might have written, and as an Assistant sometimes you feel that no one can QUITE understand everything involved.

I wrote her a note the other night and said “you know, you are currently the bigger part of my social life, I talk more to you than anyone else” And described my day in a few words, and she, proving I am not alone and someone DOES understand sent me this….

One picture is, truly, worth a thousand words.

And tonight, Malena, proving she understands as well, said “You know, if you bring your laptop, we can blog, webcam and work from the couch.

Sounds good to me, my dears,

Love and Sunshine,
Lorraine

And a very good evening to you all tonight…

I sat down to do a post, as it has been a bit, and then suddenly realised that I had NOTHING to say. Hmmph. I do suppose that happens to all writers from time to time, but I would think SOMETHING fun had happened to me in the last week.

Well, the gigs were fun, generally are, unless, like Hera, you end up playing in a CORSET in the freezing rain…..( Uh, Hera, uh, LOVED the comments on the last blog, truly, no one had ever taken us THERE before, hee-hee…)

I could take some more photos of my Bloody Legs (hey some of you might really like that!) which I actually did, except my computer has suddenly become snobbish and won’t let me download them. I can just hear it muttering to itself “Like I am going to talk to IT…..She can jolly well use photo booth is she wants to show off her blood”

I could tell you the tale of the Clerk of Courts, and that while in general, Policewomen are pretty cool (not to mention HOT, hey each to ones own…) Clerks of Court do NOT share either of those qualties, and that they are not at ALL interested in WHY you got a ticket and why you should not have, nor in any plesantries you might care to offer up.

(tho to be fair, that is NOT a job one would take if one had options. Like say, sewer cleaning, or ditchdigging)

We could speculate one HOW the Demons from the Farthest, Deepest Corners of Hell, got into a cupboard many, many times higher than they are, and managed not only to get all the catnip out, but managed to get the container (that I have trouble opening) open and had one drugged out field trip today while I was at work.

I could tell you about my lesson in gettng a chicken cut up and meat off the bone, which occured at the point where I took my Bloody Finger into my Boss and asked him to Please teach me this art, if he wished anything other than Chicken and Fingers for dinner.

(I also felt pretty bad for the poor chicken, who I am hoping never suffered so in life.)

Perhaps a Moment of Mim with her Fish. Pretending to be Sweet and Cute. As good an actress as our Malena. She reminds me more of Malena all the time, they say the name…( tho in her defense Malena has never screamed at me for food, scattered drugs all around the house, nor has she dug her claws in my little body and climbed, tho I can’t rule that out as being fun…..OK, OK, I’m kidding!)

Or show you a picture of the Hut in my back garden that I am going to move into on the theory that is about the size I can handle, housekeeping-wise..The Bengals can HAVE the House….

I could tell you about my day at work. Hmm…Did a LOT of things. Busy. I am a Zombie. Boss is Grand Master Zombie. How’s that for an interesting bit????

But instead, I am going to take the musical equivalent of a nice long Bubble Bath, and listen to about 2 hours of Oysterband (don’t tell me you don’t know their music, you NEED their music, and the answer to which of their cd’s should you get first, if you don’t have them is ALL of them. I don’t have music, including my own, that I like better than theirs. Period.)

And answer e-mail, (my phone now tells me when I have e-mail waiting and it has been pinging a lovely counter-beat to the Oysters all the while I have been typing…)

And pluck Kittens from various parts of my body when they play their favourite game ” I can climb up to your head before you can pluck me”

Hope you evening is as nice, whatever time of day it is for you,

Love, and nothing to say,
Lorraine

I spent the morning helping to harvest honey from the poor dear departed Kitty Hive. This is the one that swarmed this summer, Kitty ( much like her on-the-go namesake, ) took OFF, and took half the colony with her. Where? Who can say…We re-Queened the hive, but alas, they could not keep warm and all died, leaving their honey behind them.

For US to strain out of the comb and jar up! Sticky business that. But fun, I say. I felt like Winnie the Pooh with all of his Honey Pots. Or some sort of grave robber, stealing honey from Dead Bees….I like that. Honey from the Dead.

Yesterday, when I did not arise from my bed in good enough time, to make Venus and Mim’s breakfast, they got together and decided the one of the with the fullest bladder would let it GO right there in the bed. I have to hand it to them, as a technique for getting someone out of bed , it worked.

I am beginning to suspect it is an illusion that I am any kind of control here in my Spooky House, and that I am allowed to live there simply because I have thumbs and can open cans. They no longer need me in order to get online, and here, is proof positive that these Bengals of mine DO have an agenda, and that they are acting on it.

I have been getting e-mails from people who are starting to suggest that I am paranoid, it’s all in my mind, and Venus and Mim are not surfing the internet looking for deals on Little Fury Mice, and using my credit card to pay for them, and beaming Powerful Mind Control Lazor Beams into my brain, to get me to do their bidding….

Madame Malena Mim: Sssaaayyyy….Venussssss…..Looky heeere on EEEEEbay…….Mousies.

Freaky Venus Seaweed: Yeeessss…..Mousies. Nice thiiinnnggss for us to chasesssss…I knowsss where she keeps the credit cardsssss. But will ssshe fiiindd out???????

Madame Malena Mim: Noooo, she wiiill never knoooow. I willl make my eyeses glow greeen, and beam Powerful Lazor Beam Mind Control Rays into her brain…..She will never know….

It’s entirely possible I stayed up WAY too late after the gig last night, but I swear, that’s what SEEMED like happened, and I do have pictures this morning.

Love, Honey, and Fiends from Hell,
Lorraine