My gig with Lojo was beyond wonderful and more fun than a basket of Kitties , but I am still tired, two nights of full on entertainment, improv ( both with comedy and the music, we hardly know any of each others songs ) complete with a full moon ( so, yeah, we were pretty crazed, nowhere near Malena-crazed tho, that girl does NOT mess around on the full moon. I would tell you what she turns into but you wouldn’t believe me and then she would have to kill me. Some things must remain secret… )

SO last night, being the walking dead anyway, my friend Jen and I ( she came to the show and seemed to enjoy it ) decided to dress up as Vampires and make Indian food and watch Underworld ( hey, Kate Beckinsale in leather, with guns, as a Vampire??? Who cares about PLOT for goodness sake??? )

All very fun, except it took me a while to DRESS and all, and Freaky Venus Seaweed is onto the fact that when I spend that much time in front of the mirror, I am going OUT. Not cool in Freaky’s little brain. She may not pay any attention to ME while I am here sometimes, but I really OUGHT to be available to her at all times.

( cats SO look down on dogs with an air of complete superiority, with good reason )

She devised a most thorough retribution.

Now, occasionally she will take down a roll of toilet paper, ( she doesn’t trust it, they can be sneaky ) or take all my contact lens wrappers out of the trash and chase them around the house ( they can be fast when they get going ) or knock down all the skeletons in my Halloween town ( hey, I can understand that, who wouldn’t ? ) but last night, while I was out haunting , she got INTO the cupboard, took out ALL the rolls of paper towels, ( I think there were four ) and shredded them within an inch of their poor little lives. ( and remember , this Evil Bengal has Softpaws covers on her claws )

I called the police on her.

See if I bail her Kitty Butt out of jail. I am still picking the stuff up. ( no, my camera battery is NOT here yet, sigh. )

Now today , I heard from the Police that they are considering sueing me for the cost of the Hospital Bills resulting from the fact that Venus strongly resisted arrest and sent three Officers to intensive care…..

Sigh.

There you have it. Now you know. A Day Off in the Life of a Personal Assistant and Entertainer.

Love and Evil Kitties,
Lorraine

I have some fun things to share with you, but most of them require photos, and my camera, the NEW one I just bought is down for the count. Actually, to be truthful, it was never UP for the count, could not even get the battery to charge. I was going to just return it, but there was a note in the package saying ” If you have a problem, please don’t return this, call us” so I thought, ” well, that shows some concern for my feelings” so I gave them a call.

Well, darned if they weren’t SO nice, so concerned, and friendly. Who would have thunk it? Can this be Customer Service???? We even ventured off the topic of my battery, ( which they are replacing and sending out fed ex ) into my need for reading glasses, and her new glasses. Cool, thought I.

Anyway, SOON we will get photos again, and I will show you my new glasses, ( which are REALLY styling,rhinestones and all, but sadly, don’t do much for my vision, another thing to take care of ) Also pics of the strangest pottery ever seen…..I don’t know WHAT they are exactly, but they seem to be some sort of DUCK and BOWLS at the same time. Had to own them, but I don’t know WHAT they are, perhaps one of you does…

( this is not the first time I have bought strange pottery, the last time I got a big THING, and didn’t know what it was, I had it one way up and called it a plant pedestal, but Malena saw it and flipped it over, and stuck my umbrellas in it )

Back to customer service…..I had to ring Northwest yesterday to book some more flights for Boss ( who in my personal opinion has been on quite enough lately ) and the first person I got was one of the YES WHAT DO YOU WANT types. I, being experienced , said” Opps, I have to ring back, forgot I left Fluffy in the microwave” and hung up. I want someone who cares, call me kooky. Rang back in five, and got THE SAME WOMEN. What are the odds???? This time I simply screamed AHHHRRGHHH! and hung up. Called back and not only got the Friendliest Dud in the World, but long, long after we had booked the flight, I was still hearing stories about his daughter, her songwriting, and travels. I finally called my phone from the other line and told him I had to go.

I think we are getting together for some Holidays in the near future….

And onto Charter…..Good news, I just got my bill, and not only had they taken off the Mystery Channels Charge, they did it several times over, and now my bill is much less. Should I be worried?

I hope you all have a fine holiday, whatever you do. My Sister came up from where ever it is she lives last night and saw my Spooky House for the first time. She loved it and thought it wonderful until she fell down my front steps and broke her ankle. Nothing like a broken bone to spice up a dinner party!! ( and since I nearly needed stitches yesterday, got clawed REALLY bad re-doing Baby Bengals Soft Paws, it was a full on Bloody Dinner Party! Just the thing for the Holiday! )

Love and photos soon,
Lorraine

I saw two movies this week, the first with my friend Jen, at home. I acquired it quite by accident, darn late nights and Amazon, but I now feel, well , my life would not be complete without it. It was a 2006 version of Macbeth, my personal favourite of Shakespeare’s plays. This version was, well, Catastrophically Wonderful.

Only way to describe it. Think Macbeth as an Australian drug war against kung fu Asians, with the three Witches as young red haired school girls , all with the purest of Shakespearean language done with Australian accents, and the occasional tits ( in case you get bored, )

It must be seen to be believed. And we will not, CAN not go into the clothes. Again, must be seen to be believed. Just goes to show what you can ( or can’t ) do with 4 weeks and 4 million dollars. See it. But don’t do it alone.

At the other end of the film experience, we have last nights movie, on the big screen, in digital 3D. Beowulf. Magic. Wonderful. Amazing. Funny. Scary. You have heroes, maidens, drunkards, villains, monsters, and Grendel’s Mother ( my personal new idol)

I loved it. Every minute of it. Sure, there were one or two things one could get picky about, but who the heck cares? This is a new Hero. Or an Old Hero. The best Hero. This was brilliant storytelling. Storytelling at it’s best.

I think it is something to take a story like this, the earliest known example of English Poetry, something most of us have read, or at least known the story of, and bring it to life, as it never could have been brought to life before, or perhaps, that HASN’T been brought to life this way since, oh , say the 7th or 8th century.

How many people did it take to bring this together, and how long??? I don’t know exactly, a LOT is a good guess. And it took a long time to do it, I know this as it has been kicking around my work days for some years. I was, to say the least, impressed. And I thought I knew what was coming.

It is an amazing thing to see a movie you have long known about in the abstract come to life on the big screen, and in SUCH a new, never before done way. ( it is even a more amazing feeling to see ones name at the credits at the end. Stay for them. Cheer loudly. My friends and I did. In front of all the people left. Which, uh, was the guy cleaning up. He was impressed, I am sure of it. I acted quite the Diva for at LEAST ten minutes. )

Beowulf is a Hero. No doubt about it. But are Hero’s all good? Or Demons all Bad? ( I am not so sure Grendel’s Mother didn’t have a point. ) And like all great stories, it asks questions that no one can exactly answer.

This movie will be in my head for a long time. In the very best part of my head, where all the dreams are. And all the stories live.

To quote one of my favourite lines:

” Give him a silver piece and let him go home. He has a Story to tell. “

Love and Heroes,
Lorraine

Last night I went off with Miles to another Movie Event, complete story over at my blog . Sometimes I feel like such a DORK!!!! Ah, Hollywood…..

Ah LA. A whole different Beastie it is. I love it here, tho there are some decidedly odd thigns about the town. This morning a man walked buy with his dog and I said ” Hello Good Morning ” and Malena came out and asked WHO are you talking to and WHY did they answer back???

( It turned out he was the Man With The Great Dane ” and he was KNOWN for answering back or even initionating a Good Morning Himself , on occasion. )

I have NO brain. This town is non stop 24 hour Pah-te and Malena and I didn’t get to sleep until 4, 6 for me ( the next time i hot the darn cAPS LOCK on this space age glow in the dark Vampire keyboard, I am going to Jolly Well leave it ON until I notice and NOT go back and re-type ) and we had to be up for another event at 6:00am.

( ok, so the evening event took place IN MY SLUMBER PARTY BEDROOM ( SEEE???? ) and consisted of me , Malena and a whole lot of talk and the 6:00am event involved getting her daughter off to school, but its all in how you tell it.

I have been teaching her Freaky Bat Frog Dog to walk with the Gentle Leader, and am considering a new carreer as Hot Chick Dog Whisperer, which frpm what I know about this town, and the fact that I am WAY hotter than Ceaser Milan , will be a WAY bigger hit than Dog Whisperer.

A lot of funny things happened, but darned if I remember. I think Vampire girl fell asleep on the couch so I am going to wake her and have her re-mind me. Or finish this .

( I may well regret this, as if I can GET her up, she will not go BACK to sleep for hours and it will be me trying to stay awake.)

Hmmph. Declining to wake she is, ah well , she has been REALLY busy this past month and hasn’t slept more than a few hours each night. I wonder if there is any chance she will sleep the night thru? ( I sound like a new mother or something! )

I shall get back at her by doing my own post until she wakes…And let you in on some of things you don’t get to hear on our regularly scheduled blog, private intimate details of, uh, Malena’s Crypt.

( that’ll learn her! )

I have no camera so, you will have to use your imaginations….The first thing I notice is that her monitor is perched on top of Huge Art Book. ( there are a lot of them around here. ) This one seems to be on ” Michelangelo ” which goes a long way to answering a few nagging questions.

The cd on the top of the pile seems to be ” The Eagles Greatest Hits” ( which goes a long way to ASKING a lot of nagging questions )

There are no answers here in the Crypt, only questions…( cue music )

Someone seems to have sent her a Halloween Card for every day of October. Hmmm….I look at the handwriting and it is all the same, and oddly enough, very familiar…

Malena woke for a moment, but we may be too sleepy now to continue, she says tell them I love them and tell them about that really fuuny thing that happened.

And so I will.

Tomorrow.

Love, Lorraine a’ Malena

First snow of the year today! Which entranced me, filled me with delight and brought gladness to my soul.

For about ten minutes. Ugh. Winter is SERIOUS in this part of the world, no messing around. It’s going to be me, my couch and my fire until spring! ( I mean, if I wasn’t in the Bahama’s…)

Here’s a picture of my porch:

And another of the sculpture that I did with Merry Housekeeper in the yard before leaving work:

We were trying to do the Unicorn Stardust, but it looks more like an Army Dude with a machine arm. Ah well, I have other skills.

( and for you Weather Geeks out there, I know they said we only got a few ” flurries ” but this IS what it looked like in my mind…)

I am off for a few days in LA tomorrow, after work, which in my mind is a Good Thing. Malena is there, and it is unlikely to snow. Both assets to the place, I am thinking. What more does a girl need? I am bringing both Kitties and the Dog, for some added enjoyment.

Love and snow,

Lorraine

Well, it seems that the Writers of the WGA are on strike, which was thought likely. There are rumours that the directors, actors and crew unions may be also striking in sympathy, and support the Writers 100%.

It will be all over the news in a day or two, so I don’t think that I am jumping the gun by telling you that PAAA ( Personal Assistants Association of America ) will also be going on strike as of later this week sometime, soon , in sympathy with the Writers.

( hey , like PA’s have time to schedule these things… )

THIS is BIG news, people. We can do without writers, directors, actors and such, but no PA’s??? Let me be the first to tell you nothing will get done. The industry will grind to a halt amid chaos and destruction in a matter of days. We feel , however brutal this may seem, it is the only way of bringing this strike to a quick conclusion.

In hopes that they will be available post strike and able to save themselves, ( it will simply not be safe anywhere ) and also to help resist the urge to assist ( something completely forbidden during the strike ) it has been decided by PAAA that the PA’s will remove themselves for the duration of the strike.

To that end, they have ,( using their vast contacts, influence and Rolodex’s, ) rented out the Bahama’s in their entirety, and will reside there until matters are resolved.

Love and Solidarity,
Lorraine