This has been rather a long day and now, don’t you know it, I am wide awake, so I will tell you the tale…

This morning was spent mostly cleaning closets , and the afternoon cleaning closets while trying to convince Dog that thunder was not actually something that was most assuredly going to kill him, me and perhaps wipe out the world. ( Dog take thunder VERY seriously ) His total concept on how to deal with this and save ourselves at least, is that we need to run to the car and GO SOMEWHERE.

I don’t think Dog thinks these things thru very well.

Tonight I had a Paul and Lorraine gig in a wee town a couple hours away. I am always of two minds ( which is good for me, half the time I barely have one ) on whether or not to take gigs at this place. They love having us , but don’t much pay attention, so it’s kind of background and it’s really far away, but on the plus side, they get every sort of person in there, and they all get along famously. Bikers, very drunk groups of friends, the guy in full hunting gear ( we’re talking tally ho off to the hounds on a horse hunter , not an orange shoot the deer hunter, but I am sure they would be welcome too ) Every sort. It’s sort of lovely really.

Then the BUS pulls up.

I fear the BUS. Large groups of guys who need a BUS to get to a bar are not site seeing. They are drunk. ( don’t get me wrong, bus is WAY better than them driving ) but in most places the will be rowdy, rude and off again. Nope not here. Nice as can be ( tho, yeah, drunk ) and they mixed and mingled with all the locals and everyone had a great time. Weird show. Again, just don’t know.

On break I snagged a copy of the local paper and went to my favorite section of any local paper. Oh yes, Police Beat. That’s where they list crimes of the past week. There was one in there ( always is ) that I think deserves a little discussion.

” A man was arrested Wednesday for shoplifting a vacuum and possession of heroin “

Ok. Let’s take this point by point.

First off, HOW does one shoplift a vacuum ? I mean, do you plug it in by the door and sort of vacuum your way on out? Do you put a wig on it, pop on a pair of sunglasses and call it your Cousin It? I know people will shoplift a variety of things, but doesn’t a vacuum seem sort of ambitious ?

Secondly, if one was going to make a try for the vacuum, uh, you bring your heroin along? I can see it, he makes his plan, he is all ready, he is going to Get This Vacuum, and then, nearly out the door, WHOA! What if I need to shoot a little heroin before I get the job done?? Better grab a some, just in case….

I know junkies are not the brightest bulb in the marquee, but say they are in the midst of a good old nod session, high as a kite, I don’t think the first thought that comes to them is ” Hey, this place could sure use a little tidying up, well first things first, let’s go out and steal a vacuum ”

We are going to skip the entire obvious point,( sorry guys,) WHAT is a MAN doing needing a vacuum that badly?? I suppose his wife could have told him, you get out there and find one and don’t come back until you do, just take your heroin along in case you need some before you find one????

I had a lot of time to ponder this on the drive home.

There’s a story here. I’m sure of it.

I’ll leave you with this Goodnight Picture ( tho I am going on record as saying dogs do not pose any better than cats for photobooth, which is to say NOT )

Love and more,
Lorraine

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Malena here! Just wanted to add that I too am cleaning out my closet. Miles and I have to make room for the costumes and props he brings home. Here’s a link in case any of you want anything from eBay.
The autumn leaves are starting to turn yellow now. I am finally realizing it IS fall. I can’t wait until it gets cooler. I love boots and jackets and hats. (I’m itching to go to Minneapolis)It’s an excuse to wear vintage fur AND see The Fabulous Lorraine. Fablo and I like to save dead things in vintage shops. I freeze when I go visit, but it’s so worth it. It’s a different world out here. When I leave LA, I am no longer the “heavy girl”. It’s great for the ole’ self esteem.
I have lots to tell you. When my filming schedule slows down (yeah right) I will tell you all about it. Did any of you watch Moonlight? If so, didn’t you LOVE IT?

Love and fluffy cuddly things

Madame M

Great News! The Hidden Variable site is now up and running. There’s still some cyberdust in the corners, but it’s looking good! We’ve added some SONG CLIPSto the site we know you’ll love. Check it out! Chris has been working really hard on this album for years now. It is finally coming together. Kimberly Butler is now in the editing stage of our video, Kindermarchen by Gregory Maguire. We have a lot to celebrate this fall. My new fashion line, The Malena Collection will have some pieces for sale by Halloween!
This is a fun busy time for all of us. Listen to the songs and let us know which ones you like best. We love to hear your opinions.

Much Love,

Malena the web geek!

This is too perfect and deserves it’s own entry.

I had been thinking of coming home and writing about Freaky Venus Seaweed , never a dull moment with her. She has a new game called Launch, which she has been developing lately. The way she plays it, and as far as I can tell, all it consists of , is she LAUNCHES herself at me. I don’t mean a simple run and bite at my feet or hand, she LAUNCHES , from where ever she is, counter, couch, floor the higher up the better, and tries to make it as far up my body as possible and STICK there as long as possible.

This is every bit as painful as one might imagine.

I had heard Bengals will do this, from what I have read.

I had been thinking, on the way home tonight , about the words to describe what exactly living with a Bengal is like.

Thanks to Elionwyr who sent me this link , I no longer have to come up with the words.

The star of this could be Freaky Venus Seaweed….

And every word is true.

Freaky Venus Seaweed is declining to pose for my Photo Booth so I will leave you with a picture of me , ( hey , I have no problem with posing for Photo Booth ) on the way to my gigs ( yes, plural ) today .

Love and Mean Little Kitties,
Lorraine

Adding on in the morning…

Here is Freaky Venus Seaweed having a moment this morning , lying on my legs as I type. Had the brilliant idea to pick up the laptop and take a shot with the Photo Booth. Got it in one. Need a real camera.

One of my favorite shows is Top Chef, and it deeply saddened and angered me when I read about Chef Josie Smith-Malave and her friends being attacked outside of a nightclub by a group of Anti-gay , uh, people. You can read about it here

Why? I can’t get my head around the fact that there are people out there who get so upset about OTHER people being gay that they would attack them with fists and stones for no reason. It makes no sense, does it? How could it possibly affect them? Does anyone understand this??

Sigh. It’s been giving me a lot to think about. My heart goes out to Josie and her friends.

On a more humorous attack note, you can read about the amazing Bee Attack that the Hot Birdchick and I experienced yesterday over here. Sure, it’s funny NOW……

This morning was much fun, I woke re-freshed and lark-like ( Much like our Malena in the morning. OH! I slay myself! ) and made two more salsa’s . One I call ” Red Tomato and Onion Mild Salsa ( the onion part is because I think I used too many ) and one I am calling ” Chili-Lime Hot Salsa ” , which has more lime in it and only chili peppers.

I would be making ” Jersey Devil Habenero Mango Salsa ” but there are no ripe mangoes in this town today, so I am waiting for the mangoes to ripen. A lot like watching grass grow. Perhaps tomorrow they will be ready. Jersey Devil’s are a seriously weird tomato I discovered at Tomato Bob’s and grew for the first time this year. Here is a picture…

I am getting down to the wire on tomatoes ( teach me to plant 30 plants ) And I need one more salsa, I think, after the Mango one. Maybe the last one will be everything that I have left over, and whatever I can find in the fridge. I wonder if honey would work in salsa? (teach those bees! ) I could call it ” The Birdchick’s Revenge “

I went with Cabal the Dog to the Vet today. Now some Vets are just Vets, but my Vet is a Rock Star Vet. Spent over an hour talking Dog with me. ( I am a complete novice at this ) When I told him about being tired of my Upper Body Workout every time I took this Dog in public ( remember the Renn Fest Tragedy?? ) and how I was having trouble learning to use the Gentle Leader, he took me thru it step by step.

The Gentle Leader is the Single Best idea ever come up with. No more Berserker Boy.

Coming into the office was much like a cartoon with me flying along behind, and leaving, well, Mr Cabal GOT it, took him about two minutes and even the other dogs in the office didn’t stop his staying by me and not pulling! Everyone cheered. Kid you not.

I think we are going for a walk thru town now.

Love, Salsa and Gentle Leaders,
Lorraine

I made salsa today, and canned it ( with the canning help from Merry Housekeeper, that is not one of my skills ) I invented ” Black Cherry Tomato and Pineapple Salsa ” which might well be the best salsa ever invented, if I do say so myself. They CALL them Black Tomatoes, but they are actually Purple, very pretty, with the yellow pineapple. Also ” Chunky Tomato and Habenero Salsa ” which may well be one of the hottest ever made.

My garden, which I thought was lagging , turned out to have about one million tomatoes and several hundred hot peppers. More salsa tomorrow. I think a Mango and Chili Salsa, as well as some milder versions for those faint of heart.

What’s new? Good question. I am lying low in the country, tho hoping to get out to LA before the craziness that is Malena at Halloween begins, but we shall see. That girl goes wild. No, no, I don’t mean her general state of manic , 24/7 working on everything and being the toast of the town. I am talking about HALLOWEEN. That is a Holiday with her. Lasts a month, and gives new meaning to the phrase ” Over the Top “.

Meanwhile, back here in the country, I took the Dog to Renn Fest yesterday. An idea whose time has NOT yet come. I think a little more Doggie School first, tho I must say, it was a great full body 6 hour workout. HE had a great time, it was the coolest place ever and he was going to see, smell, and have it ALL. If I wanted to come along at the end of the leash, well fine with him, didn’t bother him a bit. WHY I didn’t bring a wagon and ride around all day, I am not sure. Big Johnny had to take him to the car for me at the end of the day, I could not do it, my arms were shaking so. HE had a hard time with Berserker Boy. ( Berserker Boy, for the record slept the two hours all the way home, and then wanted to play ” I have the stuffed duck and will run around while you chase me , and I rend and tear it ” )

I am going back next Sunday , but I think he will be with Dog Sitter. I want to actually PLAY this time.

Other than the Dog, and the Harvest things are quiet, most still in the basement and attic, sorting away. Doing some writing tho, which is good.

Love and Salsa,
Lorraine