Ok, ok, I know we have been here before, most likely last year, but here comes a rant!!!!!!!

I have recently just got cable TV and being new to it, I am watching everything from Cops to SVU to Roseanne and some truly bizarre things. ( tho I kind of liked ” In Search Of The Vampire” complete with really bad reenactment ) It being the New Year and the time of starting to diet and get fit and such, every other commercial is about the Next New Plan.

I think it was the Nurti System commercial that finally got me. The lovely model comes on and says ” LOOK I AM A SIZE 2 ” I LOST 30 POUNDS and I AM A SIZE 2″ Hello? Is that something to shoot for? 30 pounds to a size 2 sounds like she started out at about, oh a size 6? Perhaps an 8?????

Then there was the add in People. The entire issue was devoted to Half their Size. Very good, people who were truly overweight losing weight because they needed to. I applaud them. They did it right , and needed to get thinner and changed their lives. But right in the middle of this was the add ” MIKE COULD NOT COOK UNTIL HE FOUND HORMEL CHILI. NOW HE PUTS DOWN THE CHIPS AND A CAN OF CHILI AND COVERS IT WITH CHEESE , INTO THE MICROWAVE AND EVERYONE LOVES IT, THE KIDS, AND MIKE LOVES TO SIT IN HIS CHAIR IN FRONT OF THE TV AND EATS IT UP!!!!!” ( real add, folks )

And good ‘ol Special victims Unit, which is a show I like. Two detectives, a women ( Benson ) and Stabler ( man ). I could not help but notice that in one episode Stabler was, well, heavy looking. Not fat, and most likely in real life quite normal. Benson? Thin as a rail and I wondered what would have happened had it been the women gained the weight.

We know something about that from our Malena and how thin she has to be in order to work. ( has she ever been as ” heavy” as say, a size 10????? I don’t think so ) I know in Hollywood if you are a woman and want to work, you have to be really underweight. This is crazed. I know there are a lot of places that help people lose weight, people who need to , but women are being so pressured to be thin that the message is if you are a size 12, you are too fat. This is crazed.

I can remember being aged 11 and my mother telling me if I “got down” to 95 pounds , she would buy me a bikini. ( I was 5′3 and 105 ) I remember being a figure skater at 15 and being told I could really go somewhere if I lost some weight. ( 5′5 and 130, all of it muscle ) What kind of message are we sending to kids????? Or ourselves? I have always thought I was fat. Even at 5′6 and 145. I thought if only I was thin, everything would be alright and better.

It’s still going on and is worse than ever. I hear from young girls all the time asking me if they are too fat or if this makes them look fat. Most are fine. Some are not. And these poor kids live on junk food. And they feel hopeless, unwanted, and ugly, but have no idea how to fix anything. SO they fall prey to the fad diets, the adds, and unrealistic expectations and fail again and again.

I quit drinking after Thanksgiving. ( trust me, I had a problem , won’t ever go back there, but that’s another blog ) Best thing I ever did and I am happier than I have been in a really long time. I am learning something about self esteem. About self image. I have also lost 18 pounds since then. I need to lose weight, it is also a good thing. I eat right, I work out. Again, good things.

But I wonder, when I reach my goal weight, whatever that may be, how am I going to feel? Will I still feel ” fat ” ?

Let’s have some sanity. Let’s remember what is truly important. If you haven’t checked in on Malena’s blog lately, go see her essay she just wrote on this, it’s good. She knows what’s important. And I am learning.

Thanks for listening.

Sanity and Serenity,
Lorraine